Im back!

ahhhh its been a while since i last typed in here. I miss writing. Well, now that im a no more a school student, im no more wearing school uniforms and what not. But i miss having plans for the day like going to school and meet my crazy friends.Well, i dont intend to get emo emo-ish today. Now i miss everyoneee! and how i wish i could go anywhere i want with them. There's so many things i would love to do. But, i have to limit myself =(
sad. I know. Well, i need to think about what i want to do soon. What to study, where to study, yada yada, yada. Being a grown up is sort of tiring! but could be fun to though.

One Art ; Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.



Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.



Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.



I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.



I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.





Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident

the art of losing's not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Its a meaningful poem,though it might sound funny but it pictures what i feel inside. Its about losing a friend,a lover and also a life. Life is dull without the people who makes u happy;friends. Its hard to find a good company,so cherish the people around you. :)

ps;this is not about being emo or not emo. this is about me telling the people around me about how i feel. if u still dont understand it, just walk away.

Bad Day,Bad Dream

Ive been having bad dreams.Why? What's the sign? Why are they changing and why are they ignoring me? I wish i knew.WHY is my own BESTFRIEND is now leaving me eventhough i know we wont last as friends for a long time. True friends stays,we all know that. I have and had my true friends, they stick with me through thick and thin. I wish they are my true friends too, but who am i to make them mine. I love them though they have been with me this year,listening to me and helped me with my 'nonsense'.Whatever it is, ill accept what they do because what goes around come around. Whatever i did to people,is a return for my bad stuffs.Hope things get better soon =/

2 weeks notice

2 weeks more and im gonna sit for my final exam at school. Scary and excited i feel at the same time. Happy because everything is soon to be over after all.phew! well, im actually not fully prepared. scarry aint it. but i still have the whole two weeks to catch up wat i left behind through the year.hopefully.

dont bother

im feeling... lets see, depressed?
oh no, maybe sad. Maybe.
or is it, MOODY?am i?
i wonder what am i feeling.
i cant let it out with anyone, i dont know why.
weird aint it?
oh STUPID is the feeling im feeling now.
why? because i did the stupidest thing i always did all the time every month.
i can never tell anyone about what is it and how it feels like,whatsoever.
argh! why why why?
what am i typing? i cant seem to understand myself, i sometimes hate me.
why cant i just move on? hmm..
i hate me so much. im waiting for him.now. stupid me!

My Raya experience =D

Peopleee! Im back for more actions! Haha! This year's raya has never stopped the fun except for SPM!! Im left with like what? 3 weeks? Its soo fast and im still not fully ready yet. Scary wey. Well, i got a lot of duit raya but sadly, cant spend it,as usual la kan. Haha. The morning raya was FRIGGIN tiring and sleepy. I wanted to continue sleeping until the end of the day,but im surely gonna get scolding by mama. 3rd raya i went to cameron and the journey is friggin dizzy i puked once and i never want to puke again. I found a way to not feel so dizzy and puke which is sleep and distract myself.Hahaha,sounds like a bad idea, but it kinda works for me. I love the view from my hotel apartment.The 3 days i spend there was very chilly. Afternoon je,mesti raining. So have to wear 2-3 shirts and sox! The water lagilah cold. Like ice!! But it was a hell of experience! It was FUN FUN FUN! Wish i could go there again anytime soon with anyone. Saturday pulak, i had an open house just for my sis and my friends only. It was tiring and busy. But the best part, we gather together to lepak and talk talk! Actually, there's more, but will update later with the pics! daaa

Dear Frankie

Found YA!
=D

ps// dear readers, sorry for the type-0. im having a bit of difficulties of typing ;p

blah blah blah

I dont know how i feel and what i should do. He who waited for 3 years has finally mad me feel bad about myself,about what i did and everything that happen.I didnt feel bad for the things he thought i never realised, but i feel bad because of whatever i let out, about how i feel. I shouldnt let everything out. It was to be my own lil secret. Now, i dont know. what should i do? I am confused...Help?

Used to

I used to kiss you and forget which way is up. I could drown in my own bliss before I found clean air, worthy to breathe. I used to hang on every word like it was the key to your heart. I could pick out what really meant something to you by the way your tone changed. I used to want to spend every day in your company; doing everything, doing nothing. I could sit in complete silence with you, yet I felt more alive than when I spoke to anyone else. I used to look you in the eyes when we spoke; watch them change color. I used to laugh at your jokes, back when they were funny. But now… I pretend I’m sick so I only have to hug you; your kiss tastes like an accusation. I try to ignore everything you say; your voice has lost all charm, all familiarity. I can’t wait to leave you, say goodbye; I can’t stand the silences between us anymore than I can stand the conversations. I don’t watch your mouth move, and I try my hardest not to catch your eye. You aren’t the only one who has noticed something weird.

Ps: found this in deviantart. its kinda cool.

Dear Frankie

He's GONE...

:<

midnight

last night when we talked, thats the moments i missed the most. when we were together, the midnight talk its like a tradition. we always have things to talk and discuss. last night was almost perfect. like i really want to be yours again but i cant. i know its hard to happen and u might think about it 100 times. i know. but i just want to try to make u happy again. make ur life unmiserable. the least i can do is just occupy ur time. but its all seem so impossible. i have to let u go, like it or not, i have to. but deep inside i still want to keep u. so, im just seeking a chance for me to be with u and love u again. if u are reading this, please bare in mind that i always be there for u no matter what ever u do to me because i cant find any excuse to hate u even if i want to. if only things worked out the way it suppose to be, we might be in our 11th month together now. yes, its impossible.

Top 10 NOT FOR ME Guys

Top 10 Not For Me Guys

1.too needy
2.too horny
3.player
4.flirty with everyone
5.dont get along well with me
6.heartless
7.gives no attention
8.a big jerk
9.no discipline and self-respect
10.immature

haha i dont think anyone ever cared!
;p im just bored.

Kami

People oftens come and go in our life. Ive been wondering and asking myself why all this should happen. Why do people have to change even in a very short period. They come and be nice to us when they needed us. They go after they got what they want. Sometimes it does feel like a trash. But as a human, i have no rights to question God what he has written for me. I just have to accept everything that is happening.Lately, ive been thinking alot about where will i be in a 10 years time. There's so many questions in my head that i might not get the answers straight away. I do realise that. Will i be success in 10 years time? Will i ever get a job or will i do good with the job i got? Will i still be the same? Will i ever found love? Love. What can i say?

The other day, he wrote on his personal msg that he wants love. So i asked him, why do u have to find love when love is all around u? And uve once has someone who loves u so much before, why did u let her go? And he replied "i dont know". I wish he has a better answer to explain everything clearly to me. Its taking a lot of my time to get over him while he got over me so easily. How do i know that? He looks for love, he likes another girl now. I guess im not good enough for him.I am very in an emo mood ;p I realise that.. Im a No-No for guys like him. People mite think he's a jerk or whatever. Bur for me, i see no bad things on him. True what people said. Love is blind.

Tomorrow's my last paper for trials. I am very very relieved! Hopefully tmrw will be a better day.. :)

Guess? Saturday!

A brand new watch i got today. Its Guess? Haha. Well, I wasnt really excited abt it because it doesnt really satisfy me. Deep down i really want the ODM watch. U might now understand what im saying ;p
Well its an early birthday present since i wont be able to celebrate my birthday this year because of SPM. Its a nice watch. Im starting to like it. I actually cant wait for today because dad promised to brings us out to OU. It has been a while i didnt go to OU. Was kinda exciting. But i did now buy anything because i didnt found any nice outfit.
Today also is a tiring day for mum, dad and aunty since we're going to melaka,aunty's hometown to break fast over there. Its going to be fun. Hopefully. Dad's not really in a good mood lately. We are not sure why. Hmm, i hope he'll be ok when we get to Melaka. Tata! =D

tomorrow!

Nooooo!!! Tomorrow is physics paper. I have no idea why im so scared of physics paper. I never do good. Since last year. I have so little faith that ill have good results for my trials. But its important.
I should study more from now on. Oh! Tmrw is the first day of fasting. Cant wait to fast and go bazaar with friends and family. Its sure gonna be fun! Ive to run! Its almost 1 am now. So, Tata!

Ps: here's my baby brother's picture. Luqman Arif. I love him loads! He cheers me up whenever i see him =D

Emo-ish Boring Day

Mood swings. Thats what im having for these past few weeks. I have no idea whats wrong with me. I wish i knew why im like this. I know if i continue to be like this, ill lose my friends. I need HELP! Maybe its because it is exam week or maybe i havent go out with my friends. I dont know. Its really freaking me out. People do have their ups and downs times but mine lasted for almost 1 week! Grr! I hate this feeling. Im lazy and pissed!
I wish exam is over by now. Im so lazy to go to school. But i know one day i will miss school. Thats for sure.
I guess i just want to be a grown up so fast ;p

I miss my old days with him. I guess i just miss him. Last night i dreamt about him. Maybe its because we talked before i went to bed. I was too high to remember the conversation but i know its a good one and i really dont want to ruin the conversation.Its weird that its almost 5 months and i havent got over him yet. I wish i could.
Now that he's looking for love and im not doing anything about my own love life. Its kinda pathetic though. But spm is the most important thing now so i dont think i would want to think or look for one now. Its like so impossible for me to look for someone new to replace him now. Talking to him now but i have no idea what to say. Maybe ill came up with sumthing.

Bic Runga - Sway

Don't stray, don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time
Don't let me drown, let me down
I say it's all because of you
And here I go, losing my control
I'm practicing your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it's time to tell you why
I say it's infinitely true

[CHORUS:]
Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you

And there's no cure, and no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired - I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon

[CHORUS TWICE]

It's all because of you
It's all because of you

Now it all turns sour, come sweeten every afternoon
It's time to tell you why, I say it's infinitely true

[CHORUS TWICE]

It's all because of you
It's all because of you
It's all because of you

i love this song a lot. it never makes me bored. =)

Futsal Tournament

Our 3rd futsal tournament is really getting near. Hanna sponsored the t-shirts for our futsal games while Hanie and I sponsored the printing. We wanted to make our team looked great like the othe teams since its our 3rd tournament and also want other people to know us ;p. Well, mama,baba and aunty has been really supporting me and thats what i need the most. i thought they'll never let me play but they approved. Its a good thing eh? We've been practicing and playing for 3 days straight. Woah, u would never imagine how tired we were. Our legs and body is ACHE-ing! But we never give up. I woke very early in the morning, and it has been my job to wake other team mates. The most hardest person to wake up is Hanie. She's really one of a thing. The first day of training, i called her 9 times and she never wakes up. I had to leave her since she has tuition at 10. We had fun.

So the tournament day arrived! We were excited and tired at the same time. Well, I have to be honest that I have a feeling where we wont be able to win. We stressed quit a lot this time. The last 2 tournaments, we played for fun. i guess its because of the investments that we made for this tournament makes us hopes a lot. Well, yeah the games were very intense. Many good teams were in. We didnt play with fun and maybe thats why we lost at the semi. Well, its a good thing. We didnt go back with emo faces but with a smile on our face. To me, the tournament is a good thing to bring people together, be close to each other because we are from different cliques and also one of my team mates are from different school. The futsal tournament is a happy happy thing. Well, Im are looking forward for the next tournament which i dont know when.= D